Moving On...

As young college goers probably in the 3rd or the 4th year we have crushes – the one person that catches our eye, makes the heart beat faster , arises that shiver in the legs and a feeling of hollowness in the gut. For those who are daring enough they might be able to let their feelings known, while others are ‘knights in shining armor’ for their loved ones in their own world. Now a phase does come by the final year where grades don’t hold as much importance as much as letting your feelings to be known takes a higher priority. If one is lucky enough the feeling might reciprocate else the entire setup with our best pals goes down the drain along with our faith in humanity but most importantly in love as well.
Looking back in time today, I believe I was among those lucky ones who did let their feelings to be known; alas, I discovered the next phase of crush because whatever I had imagined about the person turned out to be exactly opposite. Though we are now the best of friends; well not exactly ‘best’ to lying, friends yes of course.
But yes, I did fall in love and experienced it all, much to the SHOCK and AMAZEMENT of all those who knew me. As conveyed by a very dear friend to me; who believed that there are those who are ‘just friends and nothing more’, then there are people who fall in love followed by 50 feet of crap and at the bottom of the pit was me! Few who knew me quite well take in the fact that I for whom all men were chauvinists, actually had a man in my life. Well what can I say, maybe the cupid finally found its mark this time.
But today after 6 months of moving on, 27 bottles of beer, endless abuses to his photograph, never ending he-wasn’t- worth-you discussions with my best friends I am still hung on to him; still smitten by him. That’s because according to my best friend( totally hung-over & for the first time speaking in his favor) she says he really cared for me.
Ooohhh!! I hate it when she’s right! But even now somewhere a voice tells me he loves me and he did care for me. ( So what went wrong? Nahhh not exactly the usual story, we didn’t break up, we didn’t fight, we just moved on.. it’s a whole new story)
Well today I have learnt it live with the pain, unfortunately I have never looked at another guy ever since. But true to the inner me I never have never regretted fighting with him or arguing with him. Never told him how much I loved him, maybe because I didn’t have the guts to face the fact that I had fallen for someone. But then he knew it, he knew it all, HE knew me too well.
So today I realize that in a couple of years, two to three years down to the line, when we both are where we wanted to be(career wise) we would meet and I secretly feel it would work out. Even if it doesn’t then we would surely share a laugh and move on with the one who finally has swept us off our feet again…
m!k@

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Just Because

Just Because Just Because I’m in love, doesn’t mean I am weak, Just Because I miss you, doesn’t mean I will give in. Just Because I cry, doesn’t mean I’ll forgive you, Just Because I call, doesn’t mean I will tolerate you. I am just going through a phase Where my heart overtakes my mind But I thank GOD all mighty, For the woman in me, because, Just Because I loved you once Doesn’t mean I will fall for you again.
Read more

Resolution

 Every Morning, while driving to work, I am stuck in this infinity pool of thoughts. They switch from one topic to another, while my hands work their way through the car. You know that phase the mind doesn't know what the heart wants,I think that happens to me every morning. I make new resolutions everyday, literally believing its a new day of a new year everyday. But I am tried, and while I keep asking my husband to be better organise himself, multitask like I do, follow my instructions diligently, it hardly works. So frustrated today I though just pen down these thoughts,lets get to the bottom of this. Lets organize these thoughts or at least write them down. I do like talking to the pseudo me as a second person. I do like To do lists. For those who haven't ever made a TO DO list, I can tell you that its the most satisfying feeling, when you complete that task written and STRIKE it off that list. Ohhhhh. That pleasure is inexplicable. Coming back to penning down thoughts, I t
Read more

Ode to Him

I have never felt this way before, I hate you so much but I hate me more. I didn’t know what had happened but Now that is has, don’t know how to go through it all. You seem happy to be a part of it all, You’ve appreciated it all. But now that u have moved on, I fail to understand was it real or a pretentious game of call. I feel betrayed and abashed in this mess Nothing like what you feel or try to suppress. I feel like an abandoned ship, like a lonely star Without whose help you couldn’t go far Or without its light you were all in the dark. What I hope for isn’t your downfall, Cause God sees and he knows it all. What I hope for the return of power, The same zeal and vigor with once that I stood it all. I ask for the lost feelings to be found. Cause now I am like that mighty bottle tree, So strong so sturdy but so weak deep within. I have grown heartless like the harsh winter, That so mercilessly kills all in its reach, I pray for the spring to bloom In this heart that full of sand dun
Read more